Longing
by Tweyelite
Summary: ShalEmma femslash. Random storyline.


**Title:**

**Category: Romance, Action,**

**Rating: NC-17 (M) for mature**

**Pairing: Emma/Shalimar**

**Disclaimer: Mutant X isn't mine blah blah blah**

**Summary: Emma discovers her hippie roots**

**Emma was sitting on the ugliest couch she had ever seen. The entire room reeked of beer and smoke. This place reminded her of the same types of places her parents use to hang out at when she was a kid. She was so depressed back then and at the moment she felt she was back in that time. Emma had started having feelings of more than a friendly nature for someone on the mutant x team. Unfortunately it was someone completely unavailable and totally unexpected from everyone else's point of view. **

**They would all be so shocked to know of the things Emma had done, of the life she lived before mutant x. She'd taken off her com-link and she'd dressed like she had before, before all the craziness, before Adam, before Shalimar…**

**There were people on either side of her on the gross green couch. On her right side sat a girl with long straggly dirty blonde hair and a gaunt complexion. The girl whose name she ascertained was Amanda nudged Emma and held out a joint. She hadn't smoked any marijuana in so long, not since she was a kid really. But Emma was feeling self-destructive tonight. She took the joint and started puffing. **

**So what if she was in love with Shalimar?**

**So what if Brennan and Shalimar were bound to end up together?**

**So what?**

**And she took in a few more deep breaths and passed it on to the guy on her left. **

**Shal had noticed Emma had been disappearing some nights. Every time she questioned Emma about it she skirted the subject. Shal watched as Emma distanced herself from everyone. She thought they were best friends but lately they barely spoke. And when Shal saw the lovely psyonic the light that seemed to once shine in her eyes appeared dim. **

**Shal tried once more to reach the redhead on the com-link when she heard a certain familiar buzzing. She followed it into Emma's room. There, on her desk was Emma's com-link ring. **

**Now Shalimar was worried. She didn't really want to alert the guys. She wanted to find out what was going on with Emma herself. Shalimar knew at this point that she would have to find Emma the old fashioned way, scent. Shal went to Emma's closet and opened it up revealing Emma's stylish garb.**

**Shal reached in and pulled out a soft blue sweater and smelled it deeply. It immediately put a smile on her face. 'This should be weirder.' Shal realized as she frowned in thought. **

**Brennan saw the sexy blonde feral rushing out of Sanctuary and he yelled to catch up with her.**

**She stopped and turned around looking impatient.**

"**Hey what's up?" Brennan asked, genuinely concerned.**

"**Nothing, I just have to go." Shal replied shortly.**

"**Wait up I'll come with you." Brennan said smiling.**

**Shal sighed, "Listen I'll talk to you later. I gotta go now." Brennan watched her walk away and was left wondering why he was receiving the cold shoulder.**

**Shal hopped on her motorcycle and headed off following the trail of a specific redhead.**

**Emma hadn't felt this good in a long time. She had begun flirting with Amanda wishing it could be that easy for her to open up to Shal and the rest of the team. She put the unpleasant thoughts aside. It was starting to look like Amanda was flirting back. Really the only thing that they had in common was the fact that they were both lost souls. But for right now that's all they needed to know. Emma led Amanda by the hand to another room in whoever's house they were in.**

**Shal could hear the party from blocks away. Frankly she was surprised the neighbours took up with it. She pulled up and parked her ride. She could barely detect Emma what with how badly the party smelled but Emma had to be here somewhere, though why she would chose to be at this kind of party Shal had no idea.**

**Shal walked into the party and everyone noticed right away which wasn't really surprising. Shal started going around and describing Emma to people at the party and inquiring about her. It didn't take Shal long to find out she had went upstairs. Shal searched room by room until she heard sounds coming from the end of a hallway. She crept up listening to the soft female sighs and gasps. When she looked in through the keyhole and saw the red shock of hair and she took an audible breath in recognition. Emma was in there with another woman. Emma was making love with another woman. Why didn't she tell me? Shal found herself asking all these questions and more. Shal wanted to burst in that room right then and there and put a stop to what was happening but before she acted rashly she realized she had absolutely no right to say who Emma could and could not sleep with. And why was it bothering her so much? She hadn't cared when Emma was with different guys so why care when she is with a woman? The questions spun around the beautiful ferals head as she headed downstairs to think and let Emma finish what she was doing. **

**After sitting around on a very ugly couch and wandering around ignoring offers of drinks, drugs and come-ons Shal realized something important. Shalimar was jealous. She had figured it out while Emma was sleeping with someone else, genius. And then there was Brennan. Shal had been seeing him for a little while and it seemed that they were meant to be together. But Shal was only now beginning to realize all she could have with Emma, all she wanted to have with Emma. Shal hadn't been with a woman before though plenty had hit on her. She just hadn't been interested. But with Emma it was different. Emma was.. Emma. And all that kept replaying in Shal's mind was Emma's alabaster skin through that tiny peephole.**

"**I'm sorry I can't do this." Emma stated as she got off the bed and pulled her shirt back on.**

"**It's ok Emma I knew it was too good to be true." Amanda said smiling as she too got dressed. Amanda walked up to Emma and put her hand on Emma's cheek.**

"**Does she know how lucky she is?" she asked. Emma immediately began to cry. "She doesn't even know that I…" Emma blubbered. Amanda comforted Emma while she cried. Finally Amanda gave Emma her number. **

"**Call me for whatever reason." Amanda said as she left the party.**

**Emma went back downstairs and headed back to the old couch and sat down. She began to stare off into space. Emma realized someone had sat down next to her she just didn't care enough to look up and see who. She was just waiting for the next joint to come around. And it did. Some young guy leaned over to pass it to Emma and as she was reaching for it another hand snatched it up and passed it on. Emma's agitated gaze aimed up for the first time seeing her couch buddy.**

"**I think you've had enough fun tonight." Shal stated. Emma was pretty sober, as she'd missed the last few rounds being upstairs.**

"**Go away Shal." Emma said, leaning back into the couch.**

"**I'm not going anywhere till we talk and this isn't the place for it." Shal replied.**

"**You're right. Let's go." Emma agreed. She knew it was foolish and that her guard was down but she just wanted to spend some time with Shalimar plus she knew Shal wouldn't just leave it be.**

**Shal and Emma sped off on her bike back towards Sanctuary.**

"**I don't want to go back" Emma yelled into the blondes ear.**

**Shal pulled over immediately. It was the middle of the night, in the dessert. Luckily it wasn't too cold. **

"**We can talk here." Shal stated. Shal watched as Emma looked to the sky and twirled a bit.**

"**The stars are beautiful." Emma stated solemnly avoiding the issue.**

"**So why didn't you tell me?" Shal asked.**

"**Tell you what? That I smoked marijuana before? That I go to parties? So what?" She continued, "Besides I don't owe you any explanations about my life." Emma said knowing the bitterness in her voice was showing. **

"**Anything else you want to share?" Shal asked confused as to where all of Emma's apparent hostility was coming from.**

"**What's that supposed to mean?" Emma asked as she felt a sinking sensation in her belly.**

"**Em you know you can tell me anything. I want you to know that no matter what. Whether it's something small or something big, okay?" Shal said in her most endearing tone.**

**Shal's face looked so beautiful in the moonlight and Emma was still worked up from her earlier rendezvous and she couldn't deny her feelings any longer so she threw caution to the wind and pulled Shal to her in a scorching kiss. Shal was caught off-guard. She hadn't ever thought that Emma would be attracted to her. She's probably only doing this because she is high, Shal thought to herself. Shal pulled back from the wild kiss. "Woah woah woah." Shal responded immediately.**

**Emma shrugged, "Well you wanted to know it all. That's all of it. And now everything is going to be screwed up." Emma replied as she just kept staring at the stars.**

"**What do you mean? Why, because you like women? There's nothing wrong with that." Shal said. Emma's stare shifted from the sky to Shalimar's eyes deliberately and their gazes held.**

"**It's not that I like women Shal it's that I'm hopelessly in love with you." Emma confessed as a tear ran down her face. The shock on Shal's face said it all. All of a sudden all the memories of Emma and her came to mind. The good, the bad, the strange, and Shal realized she just couldn't picture her life without Emma in it. She didn't want to. She had some unresolved feelings about Emma that she had never looked at too closely. But now that Emma had just kissed her and was professing her love it was like a light bulb went off in her head. Flashes of memories went through the blonde's mind. Teaching Emma Tai Chi when they had first met, saving her life from Billy the fire-starter, holding Emma's dead body crying until Caleb's death brought her back. Then another thought occurred to Shal.**

"**Yeah I'm sure you were telling that blonde girl you were with how hopelessly in love with me you are while you two were upstairs before." Shal replied as sarcasm dripped from every word.**

"**Nothing even happened with her! I stopped because I couldn't be with her... It wouldn't have been fair to her when all I can think about is you." Emma exclaimed emotionally, the tears streaming down her face.**

"**Besides what do you care, you're with Brennan, shouldn't you be with him now? After all isn't it your anniversary or something?" Emma shot back. Shal thought back to her brief conversation with Brennan where she had ignored him. She had forgotten all about an anniversary and truthfully she still had no clue what the day was. First kiss? First date? She had no idea and she didn't really care. All she kept thinking is that she wanted to have those things with Emma because she knew she would never have forgotten for a second any moment that had to do with Emma. **

"**This is really complicated." Shal said.**

"**No it's really not. Not anymore anyway. I'll just go." Emma said, her voice cracking with weariness.**

"**No! You can't go!" Shal said as she grabbed Emma's arm and pulled her close. Shal could tell what all this had cost the young woman. She was almost afraid the redhead would disappear if she let her go.**

"**Emma I want you back. What happened to you? You used to be happy. And truthfully I didn't even remember I had some sort of anniversary today. I mean what kind of girlfriend am I that I don't remember but my best friend does? I'm going to break it off with Brennan. I obviously can't love him the way he deserves because now I would always be wondering about us." **

**Emma was in shock, as she stood there with her mouth open.**

"**What are you saying?" Emma asked, waiting for her brain to catch up.**

"**I'm saying don't give up on me, on us. Please?"**

**Emma smiled her first real smile in what felt like ages and she began to cry as she just nodded in response. They hopped back on Shal's bike and went home to Sanctuary. **

**Over the next few days Shal kept trying to think of a good way to break up with Brennan but it was impossible to think of anything that wouldn't hurt him. Finally after three days Emma was getting impatient. Shal didn't need to be psyonic to know that. Shal had just resolved herself to go and tell Brennan when Emma came to her room to berate her for not telling Brennan yet. **

"**I was just going to go do it when you came in!" Shal exclaimed. Emma just shot her a look that said 'yeah right'.**

"**No really." Shal stood ready to stalk out of her bedroom and do the deed. Only the soft sound of Emma's giggles made her stop as she realized Emma had been playing with her. Shal grinned her chesire cat smirk and faster than Emma could say wow Shal had her pinned to the bed.**

**Soon both women forgot about Brennan until a soft knock fell upon her bedroom door. Before they knew it Brennan was right there staring at them as if they'd just kicked his puppy. He could see the love in their eyes and he had felt Shalimar slipping away from him the last while. He knew she was never really all his anyway and now he knew why. Shal and Emma groaned in regret simultaneously and tried to speak, to explain. But there really was no explanation for they're behaviour and they knew it. They'd made a mistake and hurt they're friends' feelings. Brennan stalked off with both women hot on his trail apologizing profusely. **

**Epilogue:**

**As much as Brennan loved being a part of the mutant x team he couldn't deal with watching the new love blossom between the two gorgeous women in his life. It was too much to take to watch one of his best friends and his ex-girlfriend together. He was still in love with Shalimar and everyone knew it. It just made everything harder. After some deliberation he decided that it was time to leave Mutant X. He didn't want any lengthy good-byes or to leave them in the lurch for a team member so he quietly searched for someone who would be a good candidate to fill his shoes when he left. Eventually Lexi joined the mutant x team and Brennan decided to go underground and work to help other people with mutant powers. Emma and Shal got married in Canada with all their friends there. Even Brennan and his new girlfriend Rachel went. Now Adam is working on a way to help Emma and Shalimar have a child together. What will come next for the mutant x team?**


End file.
